Self – love: selfish or necessary ?

Who is the most important person in your life?  Is it your partner, boyfriend, girlfriend , wife, husband, your children, your parents, your friends? Certain names are crossing your mind by now. It’s understandable why we are choosing to name different people first before ourselves. Those people are important to you. You love them, care for them and often you would walk to the moon and back to ensure they got what they need to be happy. 

But what about yourself? Your own happiness? When was the last time you had a whole day to yourself without sorting out your responsibilities of your environment? Housework, shopping, dentist appointments, meetings, homework, the list goes on. We were raised to put others first. Family, kids, friends, employers, customers. It’s the view of our society to be devoted. Everything else is quickly seen as selfish, self orientated, lazy and unacceptable. A big amount of self orientation can quickly be seen as vain. Why is that ? Well, first of all we were raised to be the perfect citizen. We are made to fit in. Go to school, go to work, pay your tax, find a partner, build a family, be a teamplayer. Performance society!

Society got certain views what is expected of you. If you see a mother looking at her phone for two seconds too long while her kids are playing, she could easily be judged not taking enough care of her children. Truth is she can’t even remember when she enjoyed a moment to herself. If you think about it in more detail self care is more necessary than ever. 

In the last 20 years depression increased by 129%. Anxiety, mental illness, regular panic attacks, mental crises, just to name a few increased drastically. Long working weeks, endless information overload, intense communication through social media is a must. If you are not in your own balance and in control you run the risk to work yourself to the ground. 

Putting yourself first means to stay grounded and strong to look after yourself and your loved ones. It’s important to take a timeout when you feel you had enough. This way you can work hard play harder. You got so many roles to fulfill. Friend, sister, brother, mother, father, daughter, son … Give yourself  time to grow and time to understand what works for you. It’s important that you love yourself, care for yourself and act towards yourself without prejudice. There is so much expected of you. Stop giving yourself a hard time and start accepting yourself the way you are. Speak up when you feel it’s necessary, say stop when you feel like a hamster in a wheel, you are worthy to be in control. Life will feel lighter and easier. 

Learn to take care of yourself. There is only one you! You will spend so much time on earth with yourself. Slow down, breathe, have fun, be positive, relax, go outside, enjoy life and meditate if necessary.

„When you are saying “Yes” to others, make sure you are not saying “NO” to yourself. “- Paulo Coelho

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